Where do I begin with this one. My first crush happened in the 9th grade. I had always been like Belle, with my nose in a book, a real nerd if you will, and never really paid attention to guys until he transferred to our school half way through the school year.

His eyes were mesmerizing, green with a mix of brownish hues. His smile could melt your heart. All the girls in my class were immediately intrigued. Not only was he handsome, but so very kind. He talked and was kind to everyone, including little ol’ average me. He transferred from the mid-west and had exciting stories and experiences to share.

He sat across from me in physical science class and I remember we would frequently talk to each other. He listened, seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. He would even come to find me in my hiding place in the library during lunch and we would talk and cut up until the bell rang, or until the librarian would kick us out for laughing too loud.

I can’t remember when, but I realized towards the end of the school year that I had developed feelings for him. I was shy and a coward, I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had going. It was something so very special to me. Due to my own self-confidence, I felt I was unworthy of his attentions. I honestly felt blessed enough to have found a friend that I could talk to about anything. My home life at the time was complicated and I always felt like no one listened to me or gave me the time of day. But, he did and it meant a lot to me.

On the last week of the school year, he told me he would be moving back to the city. I had missed my chance to tell him. I bottled up those feelings. I remember crying that night, praying that where ever he went to in life, that he would always be happy. I never told him how much his friendship meant and that I liked him and wanted more of us. This was still before every teen had cell phones, so I didn’t have the ability to get his number.

Fast forward a couple years later, I am a senior in high school, maturing and growing into myself. I had recently started talking to another guy. We had went on a couple of dates and I enjoyed his company. We were still young in our relationship, just getting to know each other. Well, you guessed it, first crush transfers back to our school. But this time, I felt something had changed. We had different classes so I didn’t know where to find him. All I could think of was to go to our hiding place in the library and see if he would come. For a few weeks I did this during lunch. He never came. Our moment had passed I concluded.

Then one day, I was sitting in math class, working on some practice problems, when a mutual acquaintance of me and my crush literally tapped me on the shoulder and said, “He likes you”

What? I remember thinking. At first I didn’t register what he meant. At the time, I said something lame like “good to know” 🤦

But then, a couple of days later, my crush finds me walking down the hallway. “Can I talk to you,” he said.

“Sure” I was nervous.

We started walking down the long hallway full of students going in and out of classrooms.

“You dating anybody?” He asked out of the blue.

“No, I just haven’t found the right one yet” I smiled as we slowed our pace, stopping just beside the lockers.

For a moment, I could see the wheels turning in his mind. Was he going to ask me out? I looked for his reply.

” I see.” Was all he said. He then said that he had to go, but he would catch me later.

I think he avoided me after that, cause he never “catched me later.”

As the last quarter of my high school life started, I decided that I wasn’t going to be a chicken anymore. I started reaching out of my comfort zone and asked another guy from my biology class, who had shown interest in me out.

Yes, I took the bull by the horns if you will. We shared so many memories together. We studied together, We went to prom together, I met his parents, and he met mine. Slowly over time, we both developed a deep bond with one another. It was one of those love comes softly relationships. We were very different but we also put effort into getting to know one another and to make each other happy.

We went on to share our lives together, getting married, having kids, the whole shebang. I honestly can’t imagine life without him. He is my partner and my soulmate. I truly cherish our lives together, he has been with me through it all.

So yeah, that’s the story of my first crush. I hope where ever he is and who ever he is with, I hope he is happy.

And as always, see you later otakus.